Shock therapy (ECT)

As part of my ongoing battle against depression, I have just finished a course of eight ECT’s (electro-convulsive therapy – or shock treatment). This is a fairly extreme type of therapy, but one that offers a great deal of hope in places where no hope exists. I want to demystify this process as much as possible and tell you as much as I can remember about what it is like. However, my big problem with this treatment is my memory. My husband had to remind me that I was writing this blog – and it took me a while to re-figure out how to do it – because that was one of many things that was zapped out of my head.

The treatment started when I was in the hospital. I was lucky enough to be given a roommate who was going through the ECT process – she was there to answer all my questions. I saw her coming back to the room wiped out pale as a sheet. It took all the gumption I could muster together to agree to subject myself to that – but I’m close to the end of my rope and grasping for any chance or hope that is offered to me. I went through my first set of treatments while I was staying in the hospital. That way they could observe me and see exactly how I was doing with the treatments.

The procedure:
They took me down to the outpatient operating room in my pajamas first thing in the morning. There. the nurse put me on a bed and hooked up an IV into the back of my hand or my arm. I lay on the bed when they put an oxygen mask over my face and told me they were putting me under. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but I felt a burning in my arm and felt myself go under. I know they put a bite guard in my mouth in case I had seizures. The doctor placed a couple of electrical charges on my temples and hit me with a jolt of juice to trigger a seizure. I went into seizure between 15 and 45 seconds. This seizure is key, it allows you mind and body to re-set to each other. With me, they repeated this eight times. I’m told that many patients have to return to the doctor to get a re-charge on ECT.

Now, I am home and done with this round of therapies. It’s hard to say how different I feel, but I definitely do feel different. There are pieces of my life from the past couple of weeks that are simply missing. But, I also do feel something like a warm glow that surrounds me – very different from the despondency that dripped off me before. I have not had the sort of suicidal thoughts that I had before the therapy.

ECT is a fairly extreme therapy and not for everyone. I won’t be able to tell you for some time if this really worked for me. Send me your questions, in the meantime, and I’d be happy to try to answer them.  My experience was highly technical and nothing like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.  (I really wish that movie had never been made.)

J.

What to take with you to the hospital

Often, when someone realizes that they are headed on the track to the mental hospital, things are going far too fast to grab even a coat. If you’ve got the presence of mind to grab a few things, or can yell to a friend to do so, here are a few pointers to keep in mind.
The big disclaimer – every hospital is different. These thoughts are from my experience, if you have had different experiences, please comment and share with others (or drop me a note, and I’ll post your comments anonymously.)

The general idea:
The hospital will go over and through everything. Do not expect to be able to bring in much from the outside. But, the worst that can happen is they put it in storage. Plus, you can always have friends and family bring what you forgot.

Your meds?
Do bring a list of what you take. (I keep one in my purse at all times.) Don’t bring the drugs themselves. Generally hospitals can’t trust the content of drugs coming in from outside and will issue them directly to you.

Medical equipment?
Yes, take it – but they may not let you use it. Generally, your doctor in the unit will have to approve you to use them. As long as they aren’t a threat to anyone who might harm themselves or others (my Birkenstocks), they will probably let you use them. Or – even if they may be slightly dangerous (my CPAP machine) – they may let you use them under supervision.

Clothes?
This varies widely with some units letting patients wear their outside clothing, and others taking away all clothing an issuing scrubs. In any case, bring underwear. If you can throw a couple of basics into a bag and bring them, the worst that will happen is that the staff may take them from you. Or, if you don’t and do need them, you can have a friend or family member deliver them.

Personal care products?
Probably yes for most shampoo, lotion, etc. Probably no for any items containing alcohol or that could be used as a weapon. If you don’t bring yours, they will likely have the basics on hand for you to use.

Recreational items?
Most places allow in books and magazines. Games and puzzles are likely allowed as well. Electronics are trickier. Cords are a big no – but even cordless electronics like phones may be taken away as distracting to the therapeutic process.

Food?
This varies greatly. I would not take any going into the unit. If a friend wants to bring you goodies, ask the staff if they are allowed.

Cigarettes?
This varies greatly. One hospital I was in let people smoke in an outdoor cage 3-4 times a day. The other hospital took away cigarettes and offered the patch to any smokers on the unit.

Other?
They did not let me keep my stuffed possum. I don’t know why. I was able to keep him when I was in intensive care, but not transfer him to the unit. But, they put him safely away and returned him to me when I left. If you have any odd personal items – ask.

No way they are going to let it in:
Anything with cords or laces
Anything sharp (razors)
Anything containing alcohol (including hand sanitizer)
Anything that you could use to hurt yourself or another person

– J.

Welcome to the mental hygiene project

I am writing this blog to help demystify mental health institutions and processes in the US.  I have committed myself to mental health units 4 times at 2 hospitals (for suicidal ideation or attempted suicide).  I have seen more than 15 different doctors and therapists.   I first experienced depression and attempted suicide at 13, went on antidepressants at 28, experienced my first commitment at 37, and started this blog at 41.  I am no expert (not at this stuff at least), but have a wealth of personal experience to share.

I was terrified of going on psych meds, and they ended up helping me out a lot.  I was terrified of the hospital, and went to one hospital that was a little scary, but really appreciate the great work that the safe-place of my current hospital has provided me.  I really wish I had someone to tell me more about the process of getting mentally well, because people refuse to speak of it.  I started this blog so I could speak.

I truly believe that mental health policy in the US is a total failure.  I see good people who have fought the good fight of wellness by my side return to the streets and I can only pray that they do not slip back through the cracks.  These are smart people who want to work, volunteer, go to church, whatever anyone else might want to do – they can be good citizens, taxpayers, etc. but they need a little more help (as do I).  Instead, I see a path to homelessness and dependency.  I also started this blog to talk about these issues.

If you’ve made it this far – I ask your help in this project.  If you’ve had different experiences than I have – please post about them.  I’d love for this blog to be a resource for people who are seeking help from friends.  (If you want to do so anonymously, please contact me and I can post your comments without your name.)  If you agree or disagree with me – please comment.  I think mental health issues need to be discussed and I hope this blog helps start this much needed discussion.

J.